Pointless gobble gobble
Turkey sucks. Change my mind.
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Do you know what’s easy to swallow?
Do you know what’s wet?
Do you know what’s so dry you choke?
I know that the turkey is the most important part of Thanksgiving, but it is the worst part of the meal.
“The best part about turkey is that it is so cheap”. Yep, because it sucks.
The turkey takes up the most room at the dinner table, and all that space could be used for something much better… like ham. It is practically impossible to make turkey moist and juicy no matter how much sauce or gravy or whatever you put on it. Turkey is dry meat.
You know what’s not dry? Ham. Ham is moist and wet and easy to swallow.
Turkey takes several hours to thaw. Why waste so much time cooking and preparing a big turkey and try so hard when it will stay dry. Every year someone in the family thinks they can cook the turkey in a way so that the turkey is full of flavor, and every year someone is trying in vain.
Its not the technique of cooking, turkey is just a dry meat. Instead of slaving away in the kitchen to make the perfect turkey, get a nice juicy big ham.
It saves time, its actually good, and there will be less leftovers in your fridge because people will actually want to eat the ham unlike the turkey.
If I’m being honest I sincerely doubt turkey is the food you look forward to at thanksgiving. Its probably your least favorite. Yet you feel obligated to get a good portion of it because thanksgiving is surrounded by this big baked bird on your dinner table.
Ham is a way better choice for the main dish at thanksgiving than the turkey.
Natalia is a sophomore and staff writer. Outside of room 112, she works at Publix and is a safety and outside receiver for the JV flag football team.